I’ve been, well, wallowing for quite a while now. It wasn’t the curl up in bed type of wallowing, but it was the life is so fucking unfair kind. It made me pretty much drift through life for a while, with only momentary leaps into being happy. I’m sure it’s no coincidence that those leaps mostly happened when I got to spend time with my boyfriend. I’m not going to give him the responsibility of making me happy, but…I’m a lot happier when I’m with him. He’s one of the few people who helps me recharge, instead of sucking the life out of me.
Yeah, I’ve got that whole introverted person thing going for me, too. Being around too many people for too long drains me. Being around too many stressful people drains me even more. My job – it’s the Hoover of suckitude, btw. Not so much the job, but the environment. It’s not a happy place, and it’s full of unhappy people. There’s only so much of that I can take before I start telling people to STFU, and I’m afraid I’m really close to that point.
I have at least 5 posts in drafts, that I started then X’d off the page before I hit publish. All of them are relatively recent, since the beginning of this year, and all of them are about something that was stressing me out big-time.
I really, really hate to sound like I’m whining. And yet, I do whine, frequently. So it means I didn’t post what I wrote/whined about. Even though the subjects were different, it really came back to the same thing. Life is stressing the hell out of me, and I’ve been paralyzed by the stress. And probably more than a little depressed, in the clinical sense.
It’s been going on for months. Since last fall, actually. And now I’m finally getting around to starting to pull myself out of it.
ack…posting interruptus… I didn’t intend for this to be a draft, but the call of family came sooner than I expected yesterday. so I didn’t get this finished, or posted, but I did get to spend some quality time with my sibs. 🙂
and yep, almost 5 years down the line, it still feels good to hear my baby brother offer to beat the shit out of the ex. I won’t let him do it, but I love that he keeps offering.
it’s now June 2nd, and it’s been a rainy Sunday morning in which I’ve lounged around drinking caffeinated beverages. As part of my pulling myself out of my depressive funk, it’s now time to kick-start my ass, and coerce baby brother into some home improvement projects. Home Depot here we come…lol