I’m…out of sorts…

kinda cranky, kinda blah and unmotivated, and feeling like I’m some sort of fraud or pretender. Because I’m not as strong, all the time, as I might seem. And yet, what other option do I have besides to be strong? The alternative is even less appealing.

Today, the list of what I still need to do is feeling overwhelming. I had had serious hopes that by the time my youngest was 18, I would have been well on the road to financial recovery from the divorce. Yeah, that so didn’t happen.

And before anyone says anything, yes, I am aware I have accomplished a lot in the past several years. But I’m still not where I wanted to be, and deservedly so or not, I’m still disappointed in myself. And I’m really wondering where in the hell am I going to find the strength within me to do what I need to do to get where I want to be. Especially since I just want to pull the covers over my head and disappear for a while.

Except, I don’t have time for that. There’s too much on my to-do list for that.  So I’ll whine here instead.



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