…always…and never…

a couple of words I’m trying to remove from my vocabulary…

unfortunately, I can’t seem to get people around me to do the same. but I suppose I am getting almost daily reminders on why I’ve stopped using those words so much.

I used to use them without thinking – someone always did that, or never did this, blah, blah, blah. I’m sure I those words came out of my mouth much more often than I realized during my marriage. not that there wasn’t some basis in fact for some of my statements, but using always and never wasn’t being truthful. I should have used “most of the time” and “not often” instead.

because really, “always” and “never” are often used to shift the blame to another person, instead of accepting some responsibility yourself. because if someone “always” does a certain behavior towards you, and you allow it even though it crosses a boundary, aren’t you “always” reacting the same way?

oh, and I suppose the disclaimer can go here – this post is brought to you courtesy of me changing positions at work, and being in closer proximity to the office drama llama. you know, the one I never help but who always helps me…<rme>

it’s funny, though, how working through the implosion of my marriage and previous life has equipped me very well to deal with the passive-aggressive toxicity of this co-worker. maybe it makes me a not-very-nice person, but I use other’s bad behavior as an example of how not to be. I even used to point out to my kids those other kids throwing those obnoxious tantrums in Walmart, and tell my kids that that kind of behavior in public was unacceptable. hey, it worked. my kids used to get complimented on their behavior in public, a lot.

so anyway…yep, I use co-worker’s behavior as a measure of how not to act. I also try to be compassionate, although at times it’s very hard, because someone who exudes that much toxicity cannot be a very happy person.

and, since I prefer to not have toxic people in my life, yep, I’m still working on the new job search….




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