huge disclaimer here – this is not aimed at people who have recently gone through any sort of trauma. I understand, and support, that healing is a process and takes time.
This is about the people who are 3, 5, 10 or even 20 years down the line from some event that seriously impacted them and they still have not snapped to the idea that maybe, just maybe they’d be healthier if they dealt with their issues. This is about the people who see faults in others, but refuse to see the same faults in themselves. This is about the people who don’t realize how their stunted emotional growth impacts the people around them.
And finally, this is mostly about my passive-aggressive coworker who sees herself as a victim whom nobody else will ever, ever do anything for.
Look in the fucking mirror. Seriously. Take a long hard look at yourself. Not just on the surface, but deep down. Look at your soul. Look at your standards. Look at how you feel about yourself. Just….look. And be honest.
Do you like what you see? Are you the kind of person you truly want to be? Or do you see things about yourself that you’d like to change?
Let me be clear, I’m not talking about the physical aspects here. I’m talking about who you are on the inside.
What about you, on the inside, is holding you back from having the life you want and are worthy of? What about you, on the inside, is keeping you trapped in the waiting game of “someone else will fix my problems?” What about you, on the inside, needs to be worked on?
Take responsibility. Just….fix yourself. I’m not saying you have to do it all by yourself, but you are the one who has to want to change, and you are the only one who can change yourself. Get help if you need it. Go on meds if you need them. Find counseling. Take classes to gain new work skills. Adjust your attitude. Learn to love yourself. Be the best you that you can be.
It’s going to be a work in progress. And that’s okay. Nobody expects you to be fixed in a day, or even a year. But for the love of god, if you are still feeling like a victim years after the awful thing that happened to you, fix yourself. Learn to be a survivor, not a victim. It doesn’t mean that what happened to you wasn’t awful. It just means that you’re choosing to no longer let that awful event define the person you are today.