…you’ll always be a daughter to us…

it’s been just about 3 years to the day since I told my in-laws that their son and I were divorcing. It was 4 months after ex walked out on me and the kids, and I had filed. He hadn’t told his parents.

the last time I saw or talked to my now ex-mother and father-in law was Christmas Day 2009.

to be fair, I cut them out of my life just as much as they’ve cut me out of theirs. I told them I didn’t expect them to choose sides, and I meant it. and it hurt way too much to see them, and have the huge “this is what your son did to me” elephant in the room. but I honestly expected we’d all fall into the birthday/Christmas/other holiday greeting card type relationship. after all, I would “always be a daughter to them.”

my kids tell me they get guilt-tripped into other-side-of-the-family occasions because their “grandparents want to see you.”  funny, my kids live exactly where they have for all their lives. yet their grandparents make no effort to see them here.

I wonder, is it shame that keeps them away? or have they bought into the blame-game, in which it’s my fault their son had to cheat on me and then walk out on his kids?  I heard through the grapevine that ex was bad-mouthing me during the divorce, so I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the ex-in-laws blame me now for his stupidity, too.

and the collateral damage just keeps piling up…



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