so very odd….

my older son is now the same age as his dad was when I first met ex. he looks a lot like his dad too, and right now son’s hair is longer than usual, so it’s closer to how ex wore his hair, oh so many years ago.

it’s odd, in a weird not exactly flashback kind of way.

I remember when older son finally had his growth spurt and I’d catch him out of the corner of my eye walking across a room. I’d have to turn and look, to make sure which “tall male” it was. This is sort of like that, only not, because I know it’s older son when I see him. And it’s sad, because it should be a happy memory, and something I could tease my kid about, where he’d roll his eyes at me because he’s heard it so many time already…but instead, it’s something I can’t mention because one, it’s insulting to my son to be compared to his dad, now.  and two, because the memories are tainted and worthless now.

but I see my son now, and I can’t help but think what the hell happened to the boy I met almost 30 years ago? was I really that bad of a judge of character back then?

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