feeling so very sad today

Unknown to me, at this time last year husband had not only intensified his friendship with the co-worker OW (this is the one he ended up having sex with) but he had also started talking and texting the one who became the psycho OW. As much as she tried, that one didn’t become a physical relationship but it still was sexual in nature.

If the PA didn’t start during last March, it did by the first weekend in April.

Our 19th wedding anniversary is on the 10th of this month. Last year on that day he spent over 2 hours talking to the psycho, including calling her as soon as we got home from our anniversary dinner. Which was absolutely horrible, btw. I had no idea what was wrong but it was so incredibly obvious I was the last person he wanted to be having dinner with.

Today, every time I look at him, all I can think is how much more our wedding vows meant to me than him. The pain is so intense I can’t breath. I feel like there’s this enormous weight sitting on my chest. I’ve been crying on and off all day. I have no idea how I’m going to get through this month.

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