don’t know if I have it in me….

I’m still in limbo land. Besides admitting to the affairs, all I’ve basically gotten from husband is confirmation of any information I gathered from cell phone records. So my time line for the most recent affair is kind of fuzzy. But I know it was in full swing in January 2008 which means it either started earlier than that or either WH or OW were already setting the stage. He says she chased until he gave in but yeah, I’m thinking if that’s the case he sure must not have put up all that much resistance.

Either way, it means that the rest of this month, plus all of next year through September 10 will have all sorts land mines just waiting for me to step on.

I know I’m strong enough to get through it. What I don’t know is if I want to put myself through all that though. I don’t know that the end result, staying married to husband, is really worth it.

Maybe I’m just having a bad night. I don’t know. I’m just back to feeling kind of numb and right now I’d rather be numb than be either sad or mad.

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