where has this month gone?..

I didn’t think I was busy, but apparently I was. Because it’s closer to the end of March than the beginning, and I haven’t posted since the 1st.  I’ve had more than a handful of topics come to mind that I wanted to write about, and yet the words never found their way here.

Wish I could say it’s all because of the fabulously exciting life I’m having. Unfortunately, it’s really because of this pesky little thing called work that takes up much of my time. Andwork is one place that I do try to keep this persona separate from real life, so no logging in to do a blog post while I’m there.

I did have a fabulous time last weekend getting together with a huge group of friends. It’s so much fun catching up with old friends I haven’t seen in months, meeting new friends that I’ve only previously known online, and just being able to soak up all the positivity this bunch exudes. It’s odd, because I am an introvert, and large crowds typically drain me. But there’s something about an SI get-together that fills my tank. I’m not even sure which tank it is, maybe it’s my soul. Doesn’t much matter, though, as long as it happens.

This weekend has been more about indulging myself at home. As part of my month-long birthday celebration, I ordered (for myself) a mini-cheesecake tart pan. It was delivered on Friday. So of course today I just had to make brownie/cheesecake bites.

I have to say the pan worked out great. The only issue I have with it is it only makes 12 mini cheesecakes at a time. The recipe I used made double that. I’m pretty sure I’ll be ordering another pan soon. Happy birthday to me! lol

Oh, and I made it through what would have been my wedding anniversary a couple of weeks ago. Can’t say I didn’t think about it, because obviously I did. I didn’t dwell on it, but it did pop into my head for a few minutes that day. Mostly, it’s just odd. It feels weird to have this date that once used to mean so much to me, that I found out in an incredibly painful way that it didn’t mean much to now-ex, and now is just another ordinary day in the year.

Maybe one year I’ll make it through the day without realizing what day it used to be…

it’s happy birthday to me month!…

A half a century….at the end of March I’ll have been alive a half a century.

God, I remember (vaguely) when that seemed like so old. And now, not so much. lol  I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but at some point I decided to embrace the hell out of turning 50.

so I’m celebrating the whole damn month. :D

starting with:

then in the middle of the month I’ll be getting together with my wonderful boyfriend and a houseful of friends for a fabulous party. it’s not really about me, but I plan on using the occasion to celebrate some anyway. because hey, why not share the joy with people who have been there for me for the past 5 years? So, there will be cheesecake. with raspberry sauce. and chocolate. and maybe even a candle or 50 to blow out. and friends, and love. and hell, there may even be some dancing on the bar. we’ll see. lol

and then for my actual birthday, I’m taking some vacation days from work so I’ll have a long weekend with the aforementioned wonderful boyfriend. I think there may be a little champagne to drink and dancing to be done. and birthday cake to eat. possibly even some more cheesecake. depends on who makes my cake this year. but there will be a homemade cake. my kids make sure of that now. :)

oh yeah, this month is gonna be fun…

 

music Monday

There’s two for today, but let me just warn you now, especially if you’re finding me from survivinginfidelity.com. The 1st song is very likely going to trigger you. It is heartbreaking. In fact, I posted over on SI, in response to someone else posting about this song, that if it had come out 4-5 years ago, it would have made me curl up into a ball and sob.

But, it’s so dead on. I remember the days where all I could think was “just say something. say anything.” And I got…nothing. So I gave up. I gave up on believing that my then-husband was the man I thought he was. I gave up believing my marriage could be repaired. I gave up believing that the husband I loved, loved me back.

And then, the most amazing thing happened. I started to heal, and put my life back together. I met someone new, and discovered what it’s like to be truly loved, for all of me. And yeah, he thinks that even when I’m crying, I’m beautiful, too.

 

holy hell, it’s January 15th already…

damn, I was gonna do a fantabulous, motivational-type New Year’s post. Guess I blew that, huh? Sorry, I got a little busy.

My 2013 actually ended on a much better note than I expected, despite my home furnace going out on me. But I got a very nice profit sharing check at work, which surprised the hell out of me. I’d only been working there about 2 months at the end of last year, so I wasn’t even sure if I’d be included, and figured if I was it would be a token couple of hundred dollars. I was wrong. And if this check was any indication, where I work now is an incredibly profitable company, and the check at the end of 2014 could be the answer to some of my financial issues. Not to mention, the check I got for 2013 paid for my furnace repair, with plenty to spare.

It was a really nice way to start the new year. And now it’s the middle of January. Which means I’m already in countdown mode for my birthday. It’s a milestone one this year, and I mean to celebrate it. A lot of my 40s were pretty crappy, but despite everything I’ve had to deal with, I made it to the other side. I really like who I am. I am very comfortable with, and confident in, myself. I am loved for who I am. Life is pretty damn good. So yes, it’s gonna be all about me, and I’m gonna rock the big 50 birthday!

Yeah, and obviously, blogging more regularly wasn’t one of my New Year’s resolutions, but I will be making more of an effort to keep up here. In case you were wondering, being more organized is almost always one of my resolutions, and I fail at it every year, epically. So, I didn’t make any resolutions this year. I don’t keep them, so why make them?

All y’all, have the best possible 2014 imaginable. Embrace the potentials and the possibilities. You never know where you might end up, if you take a leap out of your comfort zone.